My husband and I were at a restaurant celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary when his phone lit up with a call from home. I was relieved when it wasn’t my mom’s frantic voice on the other end, but our excited 6-year-old informing us that he had just lost his first tooth.
He had discovered it was loose a week ago, and was excited about the Tooth Fairy visiting our house. I was beginning to ponder what the Tooth Fairy would mean in our household when it struck me; I didn’t need to ask around, I didn’t need to Google it.
The Tooth Fairy is a figment of the imagination, and what she means in our family is completely up to us.
Begin as you mean to go on
The amount we spend isn’t always within our control; if we want to hire a babysitter, a contractor, or anyone else outside our own family, going rates apply. Inflation and other factors influence the price we pay for goods and services. But when it comes to traditions within the confines of our own homes, we are in the enviable position of being able to call the shots.
It’s easy to get carried away with excitement when celebrating “firsts”, but if we set the bar too high, we might end up disappointed when we can’t live up to the same expectations later.
Faced with our baby’s first Christmas 5 months after I left my job and half of our income, I sat down and set a a reasonable (and by some standards rather modest) per-person budget for gifts. At the time it was difficult to imagine our overall budget being any tighter, but I knew that things could get worse. So, I set an amount that I felt was doable even if our income decreased further.
I wanted Christmas to be consistent no matter what our circumstances were. I wanted all of our future children to have a similar experience, even if our means had improved greatly by the time we welcomed another child. Almost six years later our financial situation has significantly improved, but we still maintain the same spending limits for holidays and birthdays, with no plans for an increase. It works for us.
Our Tooth Fairy
“What’s the going rate for the tooth fairy these days? I have $3 in my wallet,” my husband told me after we had finished talking with our son.
“No way! That’s too much for a tooth!” I replied. Little did I know that the average Tooth Fairy gift amount was $3.50 in 2013.
We recalled when we were kids. We were both visited by the Tooth Fairy, my husband receiving a few pence, and I a few cents. The Tooth Fairy’s cover was blown early for my husband thanks to his friends at school, but I persisted in my belief for years, working my way up to $1 or more in exchange for molars. In any case, it wasn’t the money that mattered, it was the magic (for as long as it lasted).
“I was thinking more like 50 cents. Maybe even 25,” I said.
We both laughed as we admitted that our boy, who doesn’t fully understand coins yet, would probably be perfectly happy with a penny.
Later that night I snuck up to my son’s bedroom to kiss him goodnight, slipping my hand under his pillow to retrieve the envelope in which he had deposited his little tooth. His sweet printing, in crayon, made my heart melt.
I traded his tooth for a tiny envelope I had made from a piece of printer paper. Inside was a note and two quarters. My son opted to save the quarters, and was more taken with the little envelope, marveling at the fact that the tooth fairy knew his address. “How do you think she knows my name?” he asked.
As is often the case with kids, the most memorable experiences can cost little or nothing.
What’s the going rate for the tooth fairy?
So, what’s the going rate for the tooth fairy? What’s the ideal number of gifts under the Christmas tree? What should the Easter Bunny bring? How much allowance should you pay your kids?
Whatever you decide.
Will kids compare notes at school? Probably. Is that a reason to spend money you’d rather not or cannot spend? No!
Kids will pick up on differences of all kinds, not all of which can be solved with money. I want my boys to learn that they do not need to change anything about themselves in order to impress someone else.
Whether you do a little or a lot, or even nothing at all, try your best to begin as you mean to go on. Don’t let peer pressure or someone else’s ideal dictate the culture in your household.
Faced with another first, I was happy to keep it small and simple.
The Tooth Fairy leaves books in our house. I have a stash of them that I have picked up over the past few years (Andrew lost his first tooth at age four!), and those are his prizes. At four, he had almost no concept of money, but a growing love for books. “Robert the Rose Horse” was his first Tooth Fairy gift. 🙂
Books are an excellent idea! Very cool 🙂
My daughter’s tooth fairy story was featured on she knows here after the pleaded to the tooth fairy using some emotional sabotage. The tooth fairiy’s response was was priceless. http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/982001/a-letter-from-the-tooth-fairy
Haha! That is fantastic! I can totally see my son trying something like that someday. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Such wisdom in this post. When I was a teacher, parents sometimes asked me what amount I would recommend for such traditional gifts. I wish I’d had a copy of this post to share with them.
Thank you! It’s interesting that parents asked you for that kind of advice.
The tooth fairy pays $1 per tooth at our house, unless the teeth came out under painful circumstances, then the kid gets a bonus. Our son got his front 3 teeth knocked out on a trampoline and the tooth fairy paid him double per tooth.
Oh, man! That’s an awful way to loose teeth. I think I’d have to up the reward out of sympathy, too 🙂
Your post evoked some funny memories for me. With four kids, we had a lot of lost teeth in our house. So much so that it wasn’t uncommon for the tooth fairy to forget to visit. When a child would sadly proclaim that the tooth fairy never came, we went into full damage control, one parent distracting said child while the other quickly went to grab some cash and go into their room to quickly emerge with, here it is, it must have fallen on the floor beside the bed. This was always received with a big toothless smile. Of course first teeth were never forgotten. That’s just too special to forget. Now how did you write that note so that your son would not recognize your handwriting?
I was surprised he didn’t recognize the writing, to be honest! I tried to make it a little bit “squigglier” than my usual writing, and he didn’t seem to notice the similarities.
I love that you are so practical. My kids are way past tooth fairy age (and the gig was up a bit early for my youngest – always a light sleeper – who woke up once when I was not-so-stealthily doing the exchange) but they always got what we called a “golden dollar.” (The Sacagawea dollar coin.)
It amazed me then and still that there are kids who routinely get $20 a tooth! REALLY?! Even if we had the means for such extravagance I would never pay such an obscene amount of money for a tooth. It really seems to set up a kid for being spoiled. In my opinion anyway.
Thank you! That gold dollar idea is great — I bet they thought it was really special. I know I pretty much said “to each his own”, but $20 for a tooth?! That’s insane!
As I recall, i used to get .25. I think a better going rate is $1. After all, it’s extra money for a kid.
I suppose $0.25 doesn’t buy much these days! Thanks for reading, and sorry my spam filter ate your comment.
The cost of the dreaded tooth fairy can quickly add up – kids have 20 teeth!!
Our middle daughter has three wobbly ones at the moment and, I’m sure, they will all fall out at once!
We always try to give just one small coin; just enough so she can’t buy a bar of chocolate. We then try to teach her to save it and with the next tooth that falls out, she’ll be able to buy one.
The saving idea was one of the factors that guided my decision, too. Thanks for stopping by!
What a great post! Many of the comments had such creative suggest is too. While our oldest isn’t old enough to loose his first tooth yet we already have a plan. We have decided to give 2 of the Sacajawea coins, that way they are kind of like a little treasure under his pillow.
I love that idea! Thanks for stopping by!
In our house the tooth fairy pays $1 per tooth, but the problem is when other kids get $5 a tooth and my kids wonder why!
I know, it’s so tough when kids compare themselves to others, and it’s not easy to explain to them. I’d probably say that every house has a different tooth fairy, and then think of a creative backstory explaining why yours doesn’t give out big bucks.